I OWE MY MOTHER
>
>
> 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
> "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
> cleaning."
>
> 2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
> "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
>
> 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
> "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
> next week!"
>
> 4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
> " Because I said so, ! that's why."
>
> 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
> "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
> the store with me."
>
> 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
> "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
>
> 7. My mother taught me IRONY
> "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
>
> 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
> "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
>
> 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
> "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
>
> 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
> "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
>
> 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
> "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
>
> 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
> "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
>
> 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
> "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
>
> 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
> "Stop acting like your father!"
>
> 15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
> "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
> have wonderful parents like you do."
>
> 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
> "Just wait until we get home."
>
> 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
> "You are going to get it when you get home!"
>
> 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
> "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
> way."
>
> 19. My mother taught me ESP.
> "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
>
> 20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
> "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
>
> 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
> "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
>
> 22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
> "You're just like your father."
>
> 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
> "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
>
> 24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
> "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
>
> 25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
> "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
Saturday, 9 August 2008
Thought For The Day - I Owe My Mother
Wednesday, 30 July 2008
Sunday, 27 July 2008
Oor Wullie: Ae Fond Tribute
Here is a poem I wrote in honour of the wee lad on his bucket, as part of the CD-ROM of poetry and prose with my writers' group, Hilltown Writers, of Dundee.
Oor Wullie: Ae Fond Tribute
The braw young lad oan his bucket
Wis ne’er feart o’ a wee stushie
Wi’ Fat Bob, Soapy Soutar aun Wee Eck;
Tackety boots raisin’ sparks on the grund
Wi’ PC Murdoch as nemesis
Aun Ma aun Pa tae set him richt.
Wullie kent richt frae wrang
But oor hero kent hoo tae entertain
Us wi’ his cheeky grin aun gallus wyes.
By Erik Zoha
Enjoyed a sun and showers holiday 14th-19th July based in a good B&B in Dingwall, north of Inverness. Good food, nice room, friendly hosts. Toured the North West Highlands including Ullapool, Lochinver, Kinlochbervie, up to Durness near Cape Wrath lighthouse. Also visited Thurso in the North East, took wildlife/geology sea cruise to the Summer Isles of Ullapool, and visited Kyle of Lochalsh, by which time the weather had closed in, so did not visit Skye. Good photography weather.
