Thought For The Day - I Owe My Mother

I OWE MY MOTHER
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> 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
> "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
> cleaning."
>
> 2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
> "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
>
> 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
> "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
> next week!"
>
> 4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
> " Because I said so, ! that's why."
>
> 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
> "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
> the store with me."
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> 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
> "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
>
> 7. My mother taught me IRONY
> "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
>
> 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
> "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
>
> 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
> "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
>
> 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
> "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
>
> 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
> "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
>
> 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
> "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
>
> 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
> "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
>
> 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
> "Stop acting like your father!"
>
> 15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
> "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
> have wonderful parents like you do."
>
> 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
> "Just wait until we get home."
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> 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
> "You are going to get it when you get home!"
>
> 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
> "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
> way."
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> 19. My mother taught me ESP.
> "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
>
> 20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
> "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
>
> 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
> "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
>
> 22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
> "You're just like your father."
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> 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
> "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
>
> 24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
> "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
>
> 25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
> "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"