Poor result for Hearts v Barca on Saturday, annoyed Ronaldinho and co by equalising briefly.
Enjoyed Status Quo at Scone Palace yesterday from my parents' house on western fringe of Perth, from a distance of 5 miles away. Rockin' All Over The World indeed.

*SCOTTISH MODERN MATHEMATICS PAPER 2007*

*DRAFT HIGHER GRADE MODERN MATHEMATICS PAPER 2007*

*HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL*

GLASGOW REGION

Name...........................................
Nickname......................................

Gangname..............................



1. Shuggie has bought half a kilo of cocaine to sell. He wants to make 300%
on the deal and still pay Mad Malky his 10% protection money. How much must
he charge for a gram?

2. Wee Davie reckons he'll get £42.50 extra Marriage Allowance a week if he
ties the knot with Fat Alice. Even if he steals the ring, the wedding will
cost him £587. And he'll have to start buying two fish suppers at £3.95 each
every night instead of one. How long will it be before Davie wishes he'd
stayed single?

3. When Rangers play Celtic, their fans sing The Sash every 10 minutes when
they're winning and every 15 minutes when they're losing. How many times did
they sing it at last season's Cup Final?

4. Joey and Davie stole a 1999 green Toyota 1600GL with 35,000 on the
clock - and got a grand for it. How much more would they have got if it had
been metallic silver, done 29,000 miles and had low profile tyres?

5. Jake the Flake and Fingers got grassed up for dealing speed. The Flake
got 18 months but Fingers got 3 years. How many more previous convictions
did Fingers have?

EXTRA CREDIT: Who was Fingers' Brief?





*EDINBURGH** / BORDERS REGION*

Name..........................................
Rugby Club...........................................

Daddy's Company.................................................



1. Gavin has a spare ticket for Julian Clary at The Festival Fringe. But
Benji and Adrian BOTH want to go with him. How long does he cry before
giving them the tickets?

2. Half of Peter's friends say that they went to school with Ewan McGregor.
Another third say they were Gordon Brown's flat mate at University. A sixth
say that their dad played rugby with Tony Blair's dad and the rest say Sean
Connery was their milkman. Only one is telling the truth, so how many
friends does Peter have?

3. Todd wants to be a lawyer, but is as thick as Edinburgh Castle. His daddy
is a Freemason and a QC. How long before Todd becomes the Lord Advocate?

4. Tamsin's Personal Trainer charges £250 a week, but has sex with her
whenever she wants it. Jasmin's Life Coach charges £50 a week but has
refused all sexual advances. Which one of the women weighs 19 stone?

5. Princes Street is 2467 yards long. On average, there is someone begging
for money every 195 yards. You walk at 3.1 miles an hour. How long will it
take if you tell them all to sod off and work for a living?





**HIGHLANDS** REGION*

Name.................................. Glen...............................
Clan ...........................................



1. After Hector's death, Archie has to pay Death Duty on Glenbogle. With
25,000 acres, Archie must pay £1.76 for the first 15,000acres and 90p per
acre for the remainder, including VAT. How many people actually give a toss?

2. An Afro-American called Zachary Obisanjo Kokobobo asks a Tartan Shop in
Inverness if he has any Scottish Geneaology. How long does it take to flog
him full Highland dress and matching kilts for his wife and 10 kids?

3. If an Aberdeen supporter laid every sheep in Grampian Region end to end,
how many people would be surprised?

4. If you caught a Loch Ness Monster 115 feet long and each foot weighed
27lbs, how much money would you make by selling your
exclusive story and pictures?

Sorry, question 5 has been delayed by heavy snowfall and will be here as soon as the Cockbridge - Tomintoul road re-opens in the spring!

Paris Travel Blogs

Hi, any good Paris travel blogs out there with advice on sightseeing, tours, value for money hotels, places to eat, etc? Would like to take Eurostar train from London Waterloo to Paris, spend a few days in the capital, take a train to Marseilles or the French Alps. Just best to Google Paris blogs, I suppose, have a good wk/end. United unlucky to lose to Barca in the 90th minute, Thierry Henry penalty, maybe Hearts will have better luck playing at Murrayfield.

Good luck to Dundee United and Hearts as they face the mighty Barcelona in their friendlies at Tannadice and Murrayfield this week. Completed the Blog/Internet training course at Claverhouse, Dundee and am now taking useful, practical and interesting Energy Efficiency course at the same venue.

• You couldn't make it up, what people say...

From letters sent to the Council Housing Department:

• 1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing on it.>>
• 2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.>>
• 3. It's the dog mess that I find hard to swallow.>>
• 4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.>>
• 5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.>>
• 6. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.>>
• 7. I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.>>
• 8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?>>
• 9. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.>>
• 10. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.>>
• 11. 50% of the wall are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50 % are just plain filthy.>>
• 12. I am still having problems with smoke in my drawers.>>
• 13. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.>>
• 14 Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.>>
• 15 Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.>>
• 16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.>>
• 17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.>>
• 18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.>>
• 19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.>>
• 20. I have had the Clerk of Works down on the floor six times but still I have no satisfaction.>>
• 21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.

Flickr: Search

Flickr: Search

Flickr: Search

Hi, enjoyed a rare cinema screening of The Wicker Man by Perth Film Society at Perth Concert Hall (Britt Ekland, Christopher Lee etc, pagan rituals, sacrifice etc) followed by an interesting re-interpretation of the film by a local video/computer artist, mixing sound from the original soundtrack with his own video/computerised/animated images using 2 laptops, an iPod & sound mixing desk.
PS Good to see a European winning the Open golf championship at Carnoustie, Padraig Harrington (Ireland) beating Sergio Garcia (Spain) after finishing level after 72 holes plus a 4-hole play-off. Good news for the local Angus economy too, with all the golfing and media visitors.

Also, you could check out the following sites:

www.edfringe.com Edinburgh Fringe Festival events/info;

www.horsecross.co.uk Perth Concert Hall/Perth Theatre events/info;

http://www.horsecross.co.uk/index.php?option=com_events&task=view_detail&agid=520&year=2007&month=07&day=21&Itemid=61

Special screening of film classic The Wicker Man by Perth Film Society, followed by a new interpretation using digital and computer technology.

www.woodlandsdanceorchestra.co.uk Big band and Motown/pop music played by top local big band & vocalists, available for functions in Dundee, Angus, Perthshire, Fife.

Check out these links, if interested.

http://www.liverpoolfc.tv/

http://www.snp.org

http://www.greenpeace.org

Hi All,

Blondie at Edin. Castle excellent 9/10 - 10/10 for band performance and Debbie's stage presence, singing; loses a mark for torrential rain, venue only being 85% full, crowd slow to get into the vibe. Storming set of 20+ greatest hits including Atomic, Sunday Girl, Maria, Rapture, The Tide Is High, Call Me, Denis and, of course, Heart of Glass. Debbie Harry still a rock chick at the grand old age of 62. Quote from Debbie: "You can't stop the rain and you can't stop Blondie!" Good support from Echo and the Bunnymen.

To get it right, it should be http://borhapqueen.blogspot.com Danke schon, merci, gracias.

To get political, the UK needs to pull out the armed forces from Iraq and Afghanistan, and concentrate on home affairs - the economy, creating jobs and new housing, proper flood prevention measures, environmental measures to tackle climate change, tackling terrorism and crime in the UK. Erik (borhapqueen)

NB Error in registering my blog address, should be borhapqueen@blogspot.com Muchos gracias mes amigos.

Greetings bloggers! This is Erik Zoha in Dundee, Scotland, learning blog design via SLA 2.0
A lifelong Liverpool FC fan, I enjoy live rock/pop music gigs, including Queen, Scissor Sisters & Blondie, jazz gigs, writing poetry and short stories, visiting museums and art galleries, politics, media/journaism, history, archaeology and landscape photography.

My family live in Perth and I have relations in Orkney Islands, India, Australia and New Zealand. I enjoy meeting friends and drinking quality New World red wine, malt whisky and continental lager. I chaired Perth Film Society for 2 seasons, Cttee Member for 5. As a MA graduate of Dundee University - Modern History & American Studies - I am searching for administration/IT software employment, preferably linked to the media, politics, or historical research.

Looking forward to seeing Debbie Harry and Blondie live at Edinburgh Castle Esplanade this Friday 13th July (support by Echo & The Bunnymen). Anyone know what the setlist is for the UK tour?

Views on politics, current affairs, etc to follow...

borhapchouse

[Photo]Erik in Dundee again.Enjoy a glass or two of New World Oz/NZ/South American red wine with family and friends, also a dram of malt whisky, or bottled Continental lager. Enjoy eating curries, Italian, French, Chinese food.Supporting the SNP politically, I firmly believe Scotland needs independence to thrive as a nation, member state of the EU.I enjoy taking landscape photos, visiting the rugged North West Highlands of Scotland, around Ullapool, Gairloch and Lochinver - great mountain scenery including An Teallach, Liathach/Torridon, Suilven and Stac Pollaidh/Assynt.